Rebuilding Rob

, , ,

The One Where I Still Don’t Get It

Published by

rebuilding rob

on

A cozy, slightly blurred living room scene reminiscent of the Central Perk coffee shop set, featuring a plush orange sofa and a wooden coffee table with mugs and books. Overlaid in the center is the title "THE ONE WHERE I STILL DON'T GET IT" written in the iconic, hand-drawn "Friends" font with colorful red, yellow, and blue dots between the letters.

Thanks to Eric Fulton for this writing prompt. For those of you who don’t know, he is the geo- tracking mastermind of Eric Fulton’s blog. If you haven’t had a look yet, check it out!

What’s something everyone else seems to love that you genuinely do not understand?

What’s something everyone else seems to love that you genuinely do not understand? For me, it’s the TV show Friends.

I’ve seen more episodes than I care to admit. I know the premise, the dynamics, and the character arcs. But even thirty years after its premiere, I’ve never found it funny. While it captured the cultural zeitgeist of 1995, I’ve always viewed it as a sanitized, Hollywood-glossed version of reality—a revamped Singles without the grit.

The Characters vs. Reality

The humor often felt static, even as the storylines matured. Ross struck me as an intellectual douchebag; Rachel was the high school “pretty girl” who never grew out of her ego; Monica was too neurotic to be tolerable in real life. I particularly felt for Chandler—the only character I liked—who seemed “neutered” once he was paired off with Monica.

Beyond the character tropes, the setting felt like a fantasy. These people lived in New York City for a decade and seemingly never encountered a person of color until Ayesha Tyler’s brief arc. Having spent time in the city myself, I know that’s an impossibility. It’s a glaring hole that even the creators have since admitted was a failure of perspective.

The “Platonic” Myth

The show eventually succumbed to the inevitable: everyone paired off. By the series finale, the “six single friends” had become three couples (minus Joey). I’ve discussed the debate of platonic friendship on this blog before, and while I maintain that men and women cannot be “just friends” long-term without complication, the show missed a real opportunity to explore that tension with nuance. Instead, it chose the easy Hollywood ending.

The Generational Gap

I remember my mother gushing over the show, saying, “This is just how it is with young single people.” I remember thinking, “No, it’s not.” By the end, they didn’t look like hungry, ambitious 20-somethings anymore; they looked like movie stars fully integrated into the Hollywood machine. Maybe that’s why I can’t connect with it. It represents a version of “potential” that felt manufactured—a breadcrumb of a life rather than the 100% reality I’m interested in documenting now.

Coming in Part 2: I’m digging deeper into the personal friction behind the screen. We’re going to explore why seeing Chandler get ‘neutered’ bothered me so much, and why my mother’s take on the show was the ultimate breadcrumb. Stay tuned for the real reason I can’t just ‘be friends’ with this show

Thanks for stopping by Rebuilding Rob. Be sure to like 👍, comment, and subscribe below. It’s greatly appreciated! Also, feel free to follow me on social media and check out my recent posts!

AI art created with Google Gemini

The article “The One Where I Still Don’t Get It” first appeared on Rebuilding Rob.

Designed with WordPress

4 responses to “The One Where I Still Don’t Get It”

  1. Aarav Avatar
    Aarav

    This made me laugh and cringe because I totally get not “getting it” even after trying.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. rebuilding rob Avatar
      rebuilding rob

      Because of the shows age, there are some bits on there that are very much dated in our cringe today.

      But even in its prime, I would say that, at best, maybe half of the jokes on the show “hit“ and we’re actually funny. The rest of the time, it just felt like they were trying too hard to be funny.

      Like

      Reply
  2. whiiterabbiitt Ი𐑼 Avatar
    whiiterabbiitt Ი𐑼

    When you watch a lot of the commentary, one thing that’s key factor in shows like Friends, Fraser, According to Jim… People of all backgrounds, races and ages say these are shows that make them laugh when they’re sad.
    These shows are like feel good soup for the soul. Amongst others. I don’t think it’s lack of diversity. Friends is a very typical depiction of 70% New Yorkers living downtown in the early 90’s.
    Now downtown is more diverse. But that was the normal back then.

    Monicas insanity, and Ross’ and her relationship with each other still acting like to big kids even in their 30’s.

    Phoebe being so different and having a completely different upbringing despite the rest of them and still being apart of their crew.
    Joey and Chandlers relationship, where they became more like brothers than roommates.
    Chandler holding joeys career down, by holding him down.

    Rachel being the one to be the true late bloomer, having her first real serious job at 27 year old. Relying on her father’s. Learning to adult and quickly with the guidance of her friends. A rich girl suddenly becoming middle class. Learning the ropes of adult-hood.

    I can get with Rachels story a lot, minus the fact I’m a bit older than she is lol, and that I am differently abled. To have to claim my independence at a much older age, with a physical body that no longer is able. While being pushed out and tested and judged by so many people to see if I should have it for 3 years and I believe I have cancer. Realizing the first lumps left in Me wasn’t just in 2023, but 2018.

    The dynamic of having an intelligent friend like Ross and a not so intelligent friend like Joey or Phoebe (which is smarter of these two idk) is really fun too.

    Anyway… Friends is a feel good marker. I think it depicts that time, and we have amazing new shows that represent the great dynamic and atmosphere of NYC.

    “Harlem” / “And Just like that” / New shows about friendships, and so amazing. Friends though, is something appealing to both genders. That’s what makes it unique, in retrospect. The appeal to both men and women to enjoy this, were as others, it feels like gear more for female or feminine energies to enjoy.

    Thnx for reading my comment, I really enjoyed your approach to de-constructing “Friends” a fun read.
    x, jLR, whiiterabbiit, 34 Ი𐑼

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. rebuilding rob Avatar
      rebuilding rob

      Thank you for your feedback!

      I can appreciate that the show was extremely popular and beloved by a lot of people. But things about it just didn’t connect to me. It didn’t necessarily make me “feel good“ let alone, laugh very often.

      I’ve never personally lived in New York City, but I can only say that my own very limited experience in the city was very different than what I saw on the show.

      I’m sure a lot of the disconnect for me was the fact that I was at or near the same age that those characters were when the show initially began

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

Leave a comment

Previous Post
Next Post