Once again, for the second time in three days, I’m answering a prompt that feels like a retread. But the question—Do you believe in soulmates?—hits differently now than it did a couple of months ago.
The Evolution of the 100% Policy
My answer remains a firm “no,” but the reasoning has evolved. Back in April, I wrote about becoming my own “twin flame” and the necessity of the “100% Policy.” At the time, that was a theory I was testing. Today, it’s the only way I know how to function.
Things with Veronica have recently reached a natural conclusion—not a dramatic, earth-shattering blowout, but a quiet, honest fizzle. In the past, this would have been where the “woe is me” cycle kicked in. I would have spent months in the “what if” phase, trying to force a shape into a space where it no longer fit.
But because I’ve stopped believing in the “destiny” of soulmates, I’ve stopped pinning my happiness to someone else’s participation.
Destiny as a Barrier to Growth
I’ve realized that the belief in a “soulmate” is often just a sophisticated way of shirking responsibility. It’s an easy, romanticized trap: if we believe someone will eventually fall out of the sky and “complete” us, we don’t have to do the grueling, uncomfortable work of looking in the mirror and fixing what’s broken. It’s a comfort to believe in destiny, because it absolves us of the terrifying weight of free will. If love is fated, we don’t have to choose it, build it, or—hardest of all—end it when it’s no longer right.
The old me would have drifted with Veronica for months, terrified of the silence that comes with being alone. The current me understands that my peace is not contingent on a partner.
Choosing “Option C”—choosing myself—has made me more present, but it has also made me significantly more cautious. I don’t look for a “missing piece” anymore. I look for a partner who is already whole, standing on their own foundation, just as I am on mine.
There Is No Spoon
People talk about “spooning” as the ultimate romantic ideal, but for me, in a very real sense, there is no spoon. It’s a construct, a metaphor for a reality that doesn’t actually exist. I’m done waiting for a fairytale or a destiny that doesn’t align with the life I’ve built. I’ll take the intentional, sometimes difficult, choice of myself every single time.
Rebuilding a life takes grit, consistency, and a lot of ‘Option C’ thinking. Whether I’m closing in on 1,000 consecutive days of blogging or reflecting on the decade of work that brought me here, the mission remains the same: No glitz. Just the work. New to the blog? Start your journey here to see the blueprint and the ‘Tricorder’ perspective behind the rebuild.
Thanks for stopping by Rebuilding Rob. Be sure to like 👍, comment and subscribe below. It’s greatly appreciated! Also, feel free to follow me on social media and check out my recent posts!
- The Death of Destiny (And Why I’m Choosing Myself)
- Between Pride Rock and the Plains
- The Final Frontier Is Within: Why I Still Dream of Mars
- The Baggage We Choose: Finding Stability in a Packed-Up Life
- Two Screenshots and a Panic Attack
AI art created by Google Gemini.
The article “The Death of Destiny (And Why I’m Choosing Myself)” first appeared on Rebuilding Rob.
Leave a Reply