Rebuilding Rob

If you had to give one life-changing tip, what would it be?

I think my one piece of life-changing advice would be for young people—maybe seniors getting ready to graduate from high school, or people starting college. I would say: get to know yourself. Live. Figure out what you want to do, what is fun for you. Don’t be in a rush to necessarily fall in love, get married, start a family, or settle down.

In fact, I think that would be the best piece of advice I could give: don’t settle.

I don’t say that to mean never settle down. What I mean by that is don’t compromise. Don’t settle for anything less than 100% of exactly what you want in life.

It’s taken me decades to come to that realization. And the beautiful thing is, it’s never too late to learn it. I’m 52 years old and I have finally gotten to a point where I do things for me. Because I want to. Not to please other people, but strictly for my own happiness.

I started seeing somebody recently, and as much as I love their company, being with them, and the way they make me feel, they are a companion. They are a partner. They are someone who is on the journey with me—they are not the journey itself.

And I think that’s a big takeaway. That’s what I would want young people to know: if you are going to settle down, live your life with somebody, not for them. Don’t make them the center of your world. They should be your partner on the journey rather than the destination.

It might not seem like it, but this is truly life-changing advice. It took me far too long to learn it, and I spent some of the best years of my life with the wrong people. Not only that, but I spent that time trying to please them, trying to make them happy, doing what I thought I had to do in order to keep them in my life.

I’m very, very happy with the person in my life right now. But it took me a very long time to get there. Probably too long. I had too many distractions.

Rebuilding a life takes grit, consistency, and a lot of ‘Option C’ thinking. Having crossed the 1,000-day milestone, I’m now charting the territory beyond. The mission remains the same: No glitz. Just the work. New to the blog? Start your journey here to see the blueprint and the ‘Tricorder’ perspective behind the rebuild.

Thanks for stopping by Rebuilding Rob. Be sure to like 👍, comment and subscribe below. It’s greatly appreciated! Also, feel free to follow me on social media and check out my recent posts!

• Rob Reviews: The Commitments (1991)
• The Multi-Year Bookclub: Why I Still Haven’t Finished Anna Karenina
• Episode 3.6 “Everything is Coming Up Rob” is LIVE! 
• Captain’s Holiday: Why Risa is the Ultimate Sci-Fi Getaway
• Living in the Panopticon

AI art created by Google Gemini 

The article “don’t settle: walking your own path” first appeared on Rebuilding Rob