I feel like I’d be remiss if I didn’t say at least something about this story that keeps gaining traction. But this story is all over the internet and social media now. One really can’t avoid it.
As I understand the story, a young woman was attending a fraternity party at Cornell University. I know. An SA incident at a frat party, go figure. She went into a room with two of the guys at the party. Allegedly, the two guys involved started messaging their fellow frat brothers on Snapchat, and by the end of it, seven guys showed up.
I’m still doing a little reading up on the story myself. It’s not clear to me if the girl was just drunk or if she had gotten drugged. But the truth is, that doesn’t matter.
As one of the good guys, I’m sick to death about these fucking guys who do this kind of stuff.
I’ll admit that I was a little sheltered growing up, and yes, I knew about domestic violence, and I knew about sexual abuse, emotional abuse, and even psychological abuse. I was aware that those things happen. But it wasn’t until I hit college that I realized how absolutely pervasive those things are. I talked to so many girls during my college years who told me about being physically abused or even being sexually abused, and it makes me sick.
The trouble is that at that age, the bad guys—the true wolves in sheep’s clothing—are better at putting up the nice guy act than the actual good guys are at being themselves.
It reminds me of the “man or bear” debate from a while back. Women aren’t having those conversations out of nowhere; they’re trying to navigate a world where a social gathering or a locked room can turn into a predator trap backed up by a group chat.
Maybe I’m old-fashioned. Maybe I’m wired differently. Maybe it’s because the old man was a cop. But it has never even occurred to me to hit a woman, or be physically abusive to her, or be sexually abusive to her, or to take advantage of a drunk girl at a party. Those thoughts never crossed my mind, and they never would. I’m just astounded that one, two, three, four, five, six, seven guys all go into a room thinking that this is perfectly okay.
According to reports, there was one guy who came into the room and told them to stop or end this.
And I understand why Jane Doe reported this to campus police. They are supposed to be a full-blown, fully deputized regular police department. But if they were dealing with something out of their element, then they should’ve gotten local authorities involved right away.
To hear that some of these guys reportedly only had to write an apology letter to the victim is absolutely sickening. The fact that the university had the students do that—even right there, they’re admitting that something wrong happened. I mean, at this point, in hindsight, the university would’ve been better off just sticking their heads in the sand and acting like they didn’t know anything about it. Now they look even worse for knowing about it and not doing enough about it.
Thankfully, the legal landscape is shifting. As coverage from outlets like CNN and CBS News highlights, local prosecutors and authorities have finally stepped in to reopen the criminal investigation. It’s about time.
Curious where your head is at on this: When universities handle cases like this with a slap on the wrist, are they just trying to protect the school’s reputation, or are they actively prioritizing privileged students—specifically fraternity members and men—over everyone else? Let’s talk about it in the comments.
Rebuilding a life takes grit, consistency, and a lot of ‘Option C’ thinking. Having crossed the 1,000-day milestone, I’m now charting the territory beyond. The mission remains the same: No glitz. Just the work. New to the blog? Start your journey here to see the blueprint and the ‘Tricorder’ perspective behind the rebuild.
Today’s post is inspired by the WordPress Daily Prompt. While I’ve taken the topic in my own direction for the Road beyond 1,000 Days, you can find more responses to today’s prompt HERE.
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The article “Rob Reacts: the Cornell University SA case” first appeared on Rebuilding Rob.
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