Rebuilding Rob

What’s a moment in your life that made you feel truly alive?

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I’m going to talk about two incidents where I felt truly alive. One happened roughly 30 years ago. The other one, I’m living through right now.

About 30 years ago, I went on a spring break trip with a few of my friends. One of our families had a timeshare at a condo in Orlando, so we went there for the week. While I was there, I decided to go bungee jumping for the first and only time in my life.

I’m not really sure what possessed me to do it. It seemed like a semi-crazy idea at the time, although it was safe. There was a sign up at the top of the platform—I don’t remember the exact phrasing, but it said something along the lines of: “The climb up the stairs is $35. The jump is free.”

To be honest with you, up there it was kind of quiet. I knew there were people down below me, and I knew my friends were down there, but when you’re 100 feet or so off the ground, you can hear the wind moving right by you, even if it’s just a gentle breeze—almost like the way you hear the wind on a microphone. I remember closing my eyes because I knew there was no way I could handle the sensation of seeing myself fall, or more to the point, seeing the world come rushing toward me.

But the moment I felt the cord start to pull back, that’s when I was able to open my eyes. And that was an incredible rush because I knew I survived. I saw the world upside down, and I felt like a god. It may be the most intense adrenaline rush I’ve ever experienced in my life. In that moment, I felt like I absolutely conquered a natural human fear of jumping off of tall things. To this day, I still carry that experience with me. I did something that I never thought I would even entertain the idea of trying, and I loved every second of it.

Now for a more recent episode, I’m going to talk about Sierra. Yeah, I know, it’s probably been two or three days since she’s appeared on the blog. I didn’t think I could ever feel this way about anybody again. I thought I’d become so jaded. I thought I was sick to death of the whole courting ritual—though I must admit I’ve always liked those first steps of the process: getting to know the girl, talking to her, asking her out. But after the “12-year hum,” after having been in relationships and burned, and realizing as the years go by that good people can be hard to find, I just totally let my guard down.

I knew Sierra and we had been talking online for the better part of seven years. I knew she was a cool person and that we had a lot in common, but we kept each other at arm’s distance. So I didn’t really know what to expect when we finally met up for drinks. At that point, I just wanted to actually meet her, hear her voice, and see her face all in real time, and just get that out of my system. I knew I was already attracted to her, but I didn’t really expect to get the chance with her, to be honest.

Then things went well that day, and we continued texting almost every day after that. Eventually, I decided to finally just go for it and ask her out because I had to know. I’m like that scared crook in Dirty Harry who says, “I gots to know.” Even if she rejected me, even if we went out and I just didn’t like her, I had to stop asking what if.

I knew for a few weeks that I was definitely circling the “L” word before we told each other that we love one another. The funny thing about falling in love is you find that you start falling in love with the world once again. The world just seems like a much better place when you’re happily in love. I compare the sensation to that moment in The Wizard of Oz when Dorothy’s home first lands—while she’s inside, everything is in a sepia-tone filter, and the moment she opens the door and sees Oz for the first time, everything bursts into color. Things just seem brighter, more vibrant when you’re in love. It sounds corny, but people who’ve experienced it really know what I’m talking about.

Both of those moments—jumping off that tower thirty years ago and choosing to open my heart after years of being burned—were massive risks that flew entirely in the face of self-preservation. But taking that leap with Sierra? Letting my guard completely down and finding out she was right there waiting? That is the most exhilarating feeling in the world.

There’s a great line in Dead Poets Society where Robin Williams as Mr. Keating says, “Poetry, beauty, romance, love—these are what we stay alive for.”

Yeah, I’m feeling pretty damn inspired these days.

Rebuilding a life takes grit, consistency, and a lot of ‘Option C’ thinking. Having crossed the 1,000-day milestone, I’m now charting the territory beyond. The mission remains the same: No glitz. Just the work. New to the blog? Start your journey here to see the blueprint and the ‘Tricorder’ perspective behind the rebuild.

Thanks for stopping by Rebuilding Rob. Be sure to like 👍, comment and subscribe below. It’s greatly appreciated! Also, feel free to follow me on social media and check out my recent posts

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The article “What We Stay Alive For” first appeared on Rebuilding Rob.