when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object

I got an e-mail from Jabba on Sunday night. Up until now, I’ve been reluctant to talk about it, let alone share it; but a phone conversation I had with her last night has prompted me to finally open up.

Here goes…

The Kid had a meltdown last night. He said some really frightening things and some that I will spare you. It was a gut wrenching night. The issue was his trip to Michigan.

He told me that “I wish my daddy didn’t have a girlfriend because then he’d love me.” He never mentioned The Auteur’s name as he likes her. He doesn’t like the idea of her. He is afraid that you are going to marry her and have a baby and forget about him and not love him. His biggest complaint was that he isn’t get to see Mother, The Old Man and Phred enough while he was in Michigan. He has asked me to speak with you about this. He has asked me to ask you that when he comes to Michigan that he wants to stay at Mother and The Old Man’s with you. It is much the same as what he said while he was up there. He told me that he tried to speak with you about it and that you wouldn’t listen to him so he thinks “he needs help from an adult.”

I ask you to hear him out and follow his lead. This is not about you. This is not about The Auteur. This is about The Kid not being emotionally it psychologically prepared to deal with this right now and you respecting his feelings. The way you handle this can help him accept The Auteur’s role in his life or reject it. Similarly, it will do the same for his feelings for you.

Please speak with him and more importantly listen to him

I was tempted to ignore it altogether; not even dignify it with a response.  Fast forward to last night:  The Kid and I are talking on the phone when he tells me that Jabba wants to talk to me.  He apparently misunderstood her as she just wanted to know if I got the e-mail.  I confirmed for The Kid – and Jabba – that I did.

Obviously, this is a topic that Jabba and I needed, and need, to discuss.  At the behest of The Auteur, I decided to give Jabba a call Thursday night so we could stop tip-toeing through this. As I mentioned in an earlier entry HERE, I don’t believe that The Kid truly feels the way that Jabba claims he does.  As the old saying goes:  I haven’t seen it myself; therefore I don’t believe it.

The Hutt reached an absolute new low last night:  She told me that The Kid has been seeing a child psychologist and said that he wanted to kill himself.  Upon hearing this,  I immediately asked for the name and number for this child psychiatrist.  She refused to give it to me, stating that she is reluctant to take that “safe place” away from The Kid.  Needless to say, I am now exploring my legal rights on this matter.

What was most striking to me was that this alleged bombshell she dropped did not change the course of our discussion.  She did not set aside any animosity she has for me in an attempt to get to the heart of this matter.  No; instead she reverted to her typical name call and cursing at me.  So I took a page out of her book:  after warning her several times to stop the name-calling, I told her that I would continue this conversation when she was ready to talk like an adult.  I told her “have a good night”  and I hung up on her.

Of course, if my son is feeling like this, then I will do everything in my power to help him.  But the fact of the matter is that it is highly unusual for a six-year-old to even have suicidal thoughts.  Furthermore, there is absolutely no indication in any other aspect of his life that he is anything other than a happy little boy.  I have spoken with his school teacher and she has said repeatedly that he is a both happy and precocious.  In fact, when she e-mailed The Kid’s report card, she even said he talked about how much fun he had with me over Christmas break.  At the time, the comment made me feel really good.  Little did I realize just how important  that remark would become in just a few short weeks.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: