Rob gets hand

I broke up with Jessica yesterday. She saw it coming in, as we hadn’t really talked for the previous two or three days. To be honest, it was about the smoothest breakup I could’ve ever imagined.

George always makes me laugh

But this was a first for me. This was the first time that I ever really broke up with somebody. In my previous relationships, I have either waited for the person to break up with me; or usually I decide as we were in the mist of breaking up that I didn’t want to be with them anymore either.

It was for the best. The truth is, I wasn’t happy with her. Last week we went to down Florida to spend a few days at her parents’ winter home (they are snowbirds). When we got back into town i was going to take her back to her house. Apparently I left an empty milk container in the back of my car, which left a pretty bad odor in the car since it sat parked for a week. I was embarrassed by the situation, especially since she was nauseous as we got off the plane. Rather than wait for the car to air out – or even drive home with the windows down – she initially opted to call an Uber. Ultimately she called her best friend to pick her up, so I drove home alone.

At first, I understood. As I said, she was already nauseous on the plane and the odor in the car maye have made her get sick. But as I drove home that night, I thought “What if my car had broken down? Would she have called for a ride and left me on the side of the road?” To be fair, I don’t think she would have done that; but that that level of doubt had entered my head was troubling to me.

The next day, she wanted me to come over to meet her aunt, who was in town for the first time in 5 years. I expressed my feelings on the matter and my reluctance to see her. Admittedly, I was beating around the bush a little bit. To be honest, I was angry and I didn’t want to see her.

I was taking the mindset of taking a step back and catching our breath. She was of the mindset of “ in order to get through this, we should see each other. That’s what I want. And that’s what’s most important.“

Now, I already had a discussion a few weeks prior with her about feeling like she was the one deciding what we were going to do activity wise and where we are going to go. So when she said to me “that’s what I want, and that’s what’s most important“, that did not sit well with me at all.

I ended up meeting her into the next day. Then we didn’t talk for a few days after that. Finally I tried to reach out to her Friday. And I broke things off with her when we talked on Saturday.

We agreed to remain friends. She even threw out the phrase “friends with benefits“ during our phone conversation. And while I feel a great weight has been lifted off my shoulders, I do have a sense of feeling like I am the asshole.

From one of my early Instagram posts. It is sad, but always true

I’m sure that in her version of the narrative, I probably will be the asshole. But the fact is, I wasn’t happy in the relationship. Too often, I put other peoples feelings before mine. I’m actually proud of myself that, for once, I took the initiative and I stood up for myself in a relationship

Besides, there will be others. Hell, they already are others; but that’s another story for another day…

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