In my post earlier this morning, I explored two of the “darker chapters” of my life—2012 and 2020—which marked the end of my marriage to X1 and the end of my long-term relationship with X2, respectively. I touched on the emotions of those moments, but for this mid-morning post, I want to look back through my “2026 Rob” lens. For the last several months, I have been adapting to new standards for my happiness, my work, and my love life. I refer to them as my “Four Pillars”: The 100% Policy, Option C, The Art of Moving Slowly, and The Audacity of Potential.
The Audacity of Potential: Why Not?
I define the “Audacity of Potential” much like Bobby Kennedy did when he said, “Some men see things as they are and ask why. I dream things that never were and ask, why not?” It is the belief that my past mistakes do not set a ceiling on my future growth. In 2012, this was the first time I truly contemplated the possibility of rebuilding my life from the ground up, refusing to let the end of my marriage define the remainder of my timeline.
2012: The First Seed of Option C
Moving back to Michigan in 2012 was the most difficult thing I’ve ever done. I was underemployed and had nowhere to fall back on, but I knew that being in Michigan was the only path to a stable long-term future. That decision was my first “Option C.” As I mentioned previously, “Option C” is the radical act of choosing yourself when the provided options seem designed to keep you small. Had I stayed in South Carolina, the best I could have offered Kid 1 and myself would have been breadcrumbs—and I no longer accept breadcrumbs.
2020: The Art of Moving Slowly and the 100% Policy
Pre-2012, my idea of “moving slowly” was just indecision—drifting rather than acting with purpose. By 2020, I realized that “The Art of Moving Slowly” is actually about intention. When X2 and I split, I wasn’t just surviving; I was finally applying the “100% Policy.” This is my non-negotiable: I am no longer willing to accept anything less than what I deserve. In my current relationship, this manifests as moving with absolute clarity. I don’t send random texts for a dopamine hit; if I am calling or seeing my partner, it is because I intend to. I am no longer being coy or bashful—if I have intentions, I communicate them.
A Team Against the World
Beyond the pillars, I am looking for a dynamic I lacked in both my marriage and my LTR. I don’t want a partner to lead or to be led by; I want a teammate. I want us to be a “team against the world.” I am looking for the kind of person who will pull me aside behind closed doors and say, “Rob, you’re being ridiculous, but if this is your thing, I’m at your side.” When we walk out that door, we are a unified front—and I will offer that same unwavering support to her.
The “Selfish” Essential Truth
Sometimes, living by these pillars requires being what others might call “selfish.” Guinan once told Wesley Crusher in Star Trek: The Next Generation that there are times in life when you have to be selfish. I dislike the negative connotation of that word, but her point stands: you aren’t good to anyone else if you aren’t taking care of yourself.
The whole point of the Four Pillars is getting down to essential truths. They are tenets I live by. Every decision I make now is filtered through one of these four pillars—and so far, it is working better than when I was disregarding them entirely.
The Shape of Things to Come
For the first time in a long time, I have a vision for the future, and I’m well on my way to making it happen. My goals are clear: I am focused on nurturing my relationship with my sons, continuing to grow with Sierra, and pushing toward earning my principal certificate and potentially a master’s degree within the next few years. I don’t know exactly what the next 1,000 days will hold, but I know that I am finally building on a foundation that lasts.
Rebuilding a life takes grit, consistency, and a lot of ‘Option C’ thinking. Having crossed the 1,000-day milestone, I’m now charting the territory beyond. The mission remains the same: No glitz. Just the work. New to the blog? Start your journey here to see the blueprint and the ‘Tricorder’ perspective behind the rebuild.
Today’s post is inspired by the WordPress Daily Prompt. While I’ve taken the topic in my own direction for the Road beyond 1,000 Days, you can find more responses to today’s prompt HERE.
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The article “The Foundation: Rebuilding with the Four Pillars” first appeared on Rebuilding Rob.
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