Running out of somedays ￼

What’s the most spontaneous thing you’ve ever done?
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I’m not much of a planner. In fact, most people will tell you that I am a “go with the flow” kind of guy. It’s probably about the nicest way they could say that I’m disorganized.

It’s funny, though, because even with that in mind, I’m not a wild-and-crazy spontaneous person—not somebody who would buy an airplane ticket to Vegas and decide to leave in an hour. The closest thing I did recently was go to an AEW wrestling show in Detroit; I bought the ticket the day of the event and actually got really good seats. But I don’t think that’s the level of spontaneity this prompt is looking for.

Instead, I’m going to talk about something that maybe wasn’t strictly “spontaneous,” but took on a life of its own. Recently, Sierra and I were talking about Las Vegas. She’s been there before, and my aunt lives out there, but somehow I’ve never been. I’m not a huge traveler—I just don’t plan it very well. I think there’s a difference between being a “go with the flow” kind of person and diving headlong into the current of a moving river.

Anyway, Sierra made a comment to me along the lines of, “Don’t start talking about it if you’re not really serious about going, because I’ll book it.” And she did. We’ll be going to Vegas in early February.

That’s good for me, though. I need somebody who will take the initiative sometimes. It’s not that I’m not trying to be more assertive in my life; I think sometimes I just look at things like travel and think to myself, “Well, it’ll be there later. I can always go there someday.” The problem with putting stuff off until someday is that you eventually run out of time. We take things for granted.

I know even back when I moved to South Carolina, I started to get a little bit of cold feet before leaving, thinking to myself, “Oh my god. I’ve never been to Mackinac Island. I’ve never been to Sleeping Bear Dunes. I’ve never done a lot of this Michigan stuff.” But again, that’s because I’ve lived here my whole life and just took that stuff for granted. I figured it’s going to be there forever.

But the truth is I’ve reached the point where there are fewer days in front of me than I have behind me, and I’m running out of some days. So I’m kind of glad that Sierra took the initiative on that one. Besides, wherever she goes, I’ll go.

Meanwhile…

Life has a funny way of testing your perspective on “running out of days” all at once.

Back on Monday night, I was in a car accident. Between the deployed airbags and the damage, I’m preparing myself for the real possibility that the van is totaled. Sierra pointed out that because of the cost of replacing airbags, insurance usually just writes them off right then and there. She’s probably right.

I took Tuesday and Wednesday off of work. I was feeling a bit better by the end of Tuesday evening, but I want to be sure I’m closer to 100% before I go back, and I have to sort out the transportation logistics. I called to file the claim today, and I hated even trying to relive any of the crash. I’m waiting on the police report because, honestly, I don’t even fully know what happened yet.

And as if a car wreck wasn’t enough of a plot twist, the hospital visit at the end of Monday night came with an unexpected bonus round: a diverticulitis scare. When X2 and I were talking, she mentioned that maybe these things happen for a reason—that maybe I had to go to the hospital just to get checked out and find out about that. I told her about Brock Lesnar having it bad enough to get part of his colon removed, and while I’m not planning on checking out anytime soon, it was definitely an unexpected thing to digest at the end of a long night.

I called both of the boys last night. I just needed to hear their voices and let them know I was okay. Kid 2 and I FaceTimed, and Kid 1 and I talked over the phone (and I’ll admit, I started getting a little choked up near the end with Kid 1, though I managed to hold it together with Kid 2). I filled X1 and X2 in on the situation, too.

Reflecting on all of it, I am just feeling overwhelmingly lucky. I would be fucking lost without Sierra right now. With my sister tied up at home taking care of my mom, my sister couldn’t come up to the hospital, but Sierra was right there. She’s just a level of awesome I can’t even quantify, and she’s even letting me borrow her second car until I get the insurance and the van sorted out.

Ever since I met her, I’ve been talking about things a lot more spiritually. I’m not becoming a born-again Christian or anything like that, but I really believe that she and I were put back on each other’s courses for a reason—that it happened at this point in our lives because we were both finally ready for each other.

I remember thinking recently that there was going to be some kind of real test or event coming up to put us through our paces. I figured it would be something happening with my mother. I didn’t think it would be me ending up in the hospital. But I can’t say it enough: I’m glad she was there. She stayed right by my side, and I don’t even know how to begin to thank her for all of this.

I’ve gotta deal with a lot of fallout from this accident, but I’ve got good people who love me. I know I’ll be okay.

Rebuilding a life takes grit, consistency, and a lot of ‘Option C’ thinking. Having crossed the 1,000-day milestone, I’m now charting the territory beyond. The mission remains the same: No glitz. Just the work. New to the blog? Start your journey here to see the blueprint and the ‘Tricorder’ perspective behind the rebuild.

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